Alyssa Woodard

Recently there has been a large push for people to stay in their homes as much as possible so that the spread of COVID-19 will decrease, which has led many Americans to enter self-isolation or quarantine with members of their household.

The same can be said for my family. As of today, my family has been on a loose quarantine since the week of March 16, which means that I haven't left my home in about three weeks.

As a self-proclaimed homebody, I can say that I’ve been enjoying this extended excuse to not leave the comfort of my home. This also means that I can turn down invitations to hang out outside of my home without seeming rude.

For anyone who is still trying to organize plans with other people outside of your respective homes, please do us all a favor and stop immediately. I mean seriously, how selfish can one possibly be?

I understand that not everyone wants to stay in their homes and lounge around while being completely comfortable. For some reason unbeknownst to myself, people actually enjoy going out to public spaces filled with more than seven people.

If you identify with the latter statement, I have created the perfect things for you to occupy your time during this seemingly never-ending quarantine.

As an expert homebody, whose self-isolating habits preceded the coronavirus pandemic, I feel that I am well qualified to help keep you entertained during this time.

One of the many things that you may take for granted because of the speed of everyday life is quality nap time. I’m not talking about a 15-minute nap between classes or even an unplanned hour-long nap. What I'm referring to is borderline comatose type sleep—sleep that seems so unrealistically good that you wake up worried that something must be wrong because of the amount of sleep you’re getting.

The perfect way to start these naps always begins with a semi-entertaining TV show. I recommend something that is fairly easy to follow, like “NCIS” or “911.” These shows are so predictable yet thrilling that you don't have to know character plotlines to be able to binge-watch them.

After you spend about an hour watching these marathons, you’ll soon start to feel exhausted after not doing anything at all. Now is a good time to get out of bed and get a quick snack—an orange or a pack of crackers should do the trick.

You’re going to want something that's good enough to make you feel like you just ate but not make you feel bloated. The most important part is that you take said snack back to your bed and eat it under your covers.

After eating the snack and snuggling back in for yet another predictable episode, you will notice that you keep dozing off at an alarming rate. From here make sure to turn the volume down so that it's not loud enough to disturb your sleep, yet not so low that you can hear the outside world.

This is the perfect set up that any Homebody has perfected over years of avoiding group social settings, after-class meetups and even potential dates. Don’t be alarmed if you aren’t able to nap for a long period of time.

If you keep practicing soon you too can be as lazy as a homebody on a weeknight who has an 11-page essay due the next morning.

Alyssa Woodard is a freshman in exploratory studies. She can be reached at alydwood@vols.utk.edu.

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